if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
