so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why is there bacon in the couch?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
