so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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