Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize