I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football