i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How does one acquire holy water?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme