She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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