I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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