I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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