its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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