Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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