He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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