I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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