Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
