ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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