Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
