Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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