I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
