Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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