Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
