I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize