where does the pee come out of this thing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This house was built for laser tag.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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