i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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