dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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