I cannot find my penis.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
