never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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