Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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