Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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