This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
