I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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