She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
