This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize