my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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