your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Four minutes until I can fart!
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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