Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
