butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
