It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
