From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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