The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
