This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
