Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
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have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
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apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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