the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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