We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
