Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize