she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
