I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
