Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize