Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
