wat bout pragnant strippers??
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
