For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
