I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
