Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
porn star boner night. come get it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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