Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize