when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
