omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
