I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
