i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
