it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
