Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you win again, gameday.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
